I just got back from the Al-Anon International Convention. Well, actually I just got done decompressing from the International Convention. Big crowds are not my happy place. But it was so worth it!
Amazing doesn’t even begin to cover it. So much recovery in one place…incredible speakers, workshops packed with wisdom, intense meetings. Plus hugging program friends who had only been little Brady Bunch squares on Zoom for the past three years! It was three days of big feels and big learning.
But the most profound spiritual experience of that whole weekend happened for me at the very beginning of the Big Meeting that kicked off the convention. Those familiar words that always let me know I’m at home, no matter where I am: “Please join me in a moment of silence, followed by the Serenity Prayer.”
A hush fell in the huge meeting hall. And then, 3500 voices rose in unison: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
It was a huge sound. It gave me chills. All these people, from all over the world, united in recovery, every one of them living proof of the hope this program brings.
When do you say it?
I’ve said the Serenity Prayer countless times at meetings, for sure. But I’ve said it way more times by myself.
During all the sleepless nights and all the sessions in the “prayer closet.” (That’s the bathroom, by the way.) While hoping the phone rings, or while hoping it doesn’t; while wearing my best poker face, or while crying on the floor. All those soul-expanding (read: crappy) experiences that this disease brings our way. In all the worst moments, it makes me feel just a little less alone.
Somewhere along the way, I got to thinking of it as The Desperate and Lonely Prayer. But in that moment in the Convention Center, lifting my voice with 3500 of my closest friends, I felt it: I am not alone. In a much bigger way than I ever realized, I am not alone.
Beyond my precious home group, I have a lot of recovery brothers and sisters I haven’t met yet. I have thousands of friends, companions and allies, all over the world. I’m only alone if I choose to be. If I’m willing to reach for it, my Higher Power makes sure there’s always a hand there.
Keep coming back!
